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♔ Wednesday, June 18, 2008
3:10 PM |
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I wished I was still a part of it, really.
I have so much to say and I think I better say it now before that strong feeling fades.
Nysj training camp 16-18 June.I think I was completely naive when I thought I could mug during camp and be uber productive. Hence I brought notes for physics chemistry math econs to mug during camp hahaha. It was so heavy I swear! But it's okay cause I thought being able to be there with juniors was worthwhile and it compensated for the time lost for mugging.
When I first reached nanyang in the afternoon on the first day, juniors were having outdoor cooking :D Then Yiling and Georgina told me smth interesting that happened during the first triage hahaha. Couldn't stop laughing, really! So drama-mama can hahahah :D I'm so mean but I'm not the only one who laughed okay.
Actually I don't want to blog in order and I'm not going to bore everyone (and myself) with all the details happening from day to day.
I LOVE FRIENSHIP DANCE. Ever since I got to dance friendship dance with ma'am xinyun 2 years back, it has totally became my favourite activity during campfire nights hahaha. & yay, I got to dance with my 2 number fives this year and many many other people hurray!
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Being there as an ex nco definitely felt different. Sometimes I cannot help but feel that I'm no longer in control of what my juniors are doing. I'm no longer able to contibute to the corp as much as I want to but I still wanna try to do whatever I can.
The strength of the corp has decreased tremendously. Don't know if it's a good thing. I look at my juniors and I think back. When I was a sec 1 like them, I sucked at triages, I fall asleep during debriefs and I get scolded, there's always smth wrong with whatever I do. It definitely didn't feel good being screamed at every now and them. But I was so glad seniors were there to guide us, even though sometimes I feel that I'm adding on to their frustration.
I moved on to being a sec 2, hurray I told myself cause I know I'm not going to repeat all the stupid mistakes in sec 1. I wanna take care of my juniors, I want them to love the cca through "suffering" with everyone in camp. It's really a wonderful feeling having the whole corp with you pushing you to go forward.
Training camp in sec 3 was great, in a way. Cause you feel like a big sister to all your juniors. Triages were no longer scary and horrifying emergency cases which turned out like crap for you like in sec 1. Having squadmates there (especially your team) really made a lot of difference. Until now, I still hoped I didn't vomit during water parade on the first night hai.. It's like, I didn't even wanted that to happen oh well. But haha I can remember very vividly that Gwendolyn was totally freaking out because of triage and she was trying to read her FA manual in the dark after lights out haha.
Then it was us, as ncos, conducting the camp. Nice experience (: Perhaps I could say my juniors were probably more tired than me cause they're constantly on the run. & then,
time really flies. It didn't take long before the feeling of emptiness set in after last parade. It was like, we spent more than half a year preparing for training camp and now it's.. over. We're only left with St John Day Parade.
Before my squad took over, I wished I could stay as a cadet forever so that my ncos will always be there for us. After I took over, I wished I was still a cadet. Before I passed out, I wished I could stay as an NCO forever so that I can forever be there for my juniors (assuming they need us hahaha). Now, being an ex nco (and ex ex nco, soon to be), I feel that I'm gradually distancing myself from sj alr :( It used to be almost my everything.
I dont even think my ny life would be half as exciting without sj. Sj was like my passion, my drive, my motivation to work hard (though I have to admit I slack sometimes sorry :) for the corp.
What is not given is lost. That's why you wanna keep giving and giving so that your juniors will absorb them and pass them down. I don't think I can ever forge the same kind of bonds with people I meet in Taekwondo. It's just different in JC.
On a sidenote, I know I have my seniors to thank for giving me a chance to be in comp team. Cause ultimately, we became trainers for our 小 comp team and we all began on yet another exciting and fulfilling journey (:
I really really hope St John Day Parade will turn out to be damn good and impressive (: GO JUNIORS, JIAYOU! Yall did it last year and I was so proud of us, I couldn't ask for more. That was like the best present I could ever have.
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Thank you to everyone who wished me happy birthday/remembered my birthday :D Thank you all many many! :D I AM A HAPPY GIRL, HAPPY HAPPY GIRL (:
Special mention goes to our dearest
nync'07 :D I'm still feeling full from the cake and looking/hearing comp team sing birthday song made me REALLY HAPPY (: 谢谢你们 <3>