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♔ Wednesday, May 02, 2007
9:50 PM |
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it's the pain which keeps me alive
i dont know how to describe today.
i dont know how to continue this anymore.
i know the answer very clearly myself but,
i just dont want to hear it from you.
i want to continue living in self denial and pretend.
pretend that i mean a lot to you.but anyway, thankew :)i won't doubt you anymore.
i'll try to, promise.
have been having terrible mood swings these days.
not pms-ing please.
pms is a lousy excuse to cover up for your own terrible mood swings.
--
math test was a total screw up please.
i'm not some smart ass who ace my math so let it be.
last test for the term is finally over.
so now,
it's all the projects and sias and assignments.
:/
--
maychew jasmine cheer up.
i know this wont help but aiyah.
mm (:
--
maychew gave me this painting she painted during the free period today.
xiexie ni. (:
--
somehow, it all vanished.
hai. i'm feeling a bit.. i don't know.
i cannot believe it's gone just like that.
i still remember talking to valerie about this.
but i guess when everything's over,
there's no use talking about it anymore.
just wanna say that i used to respect you a lot.
cos you deserve it. (:
and until now, i still do,
i will continue to do so,
continue to give you the repsect i once gave you.
but that's all.
nothing more.
--
the following is just gonna be full of emo shit.
so just skip it.
i knew the answer all along,
and i thought it didnt matter.
my thinking was that as long as i dont hear it anywhere,
everything will be okay.
but i was so wrong.
i heard it.
and the moment i heard it,
i cried.
i couldnt help it.
the impact was that great.
i could feel the world crumbling down on me.
there's a big difference,
between knowing it yourself but not hearing it,
and knowing it yourself and
hearing it.
我真得受不了了。
我快要伤心死了。
可是我不能那么自私。
你过得比我更辛苦。
你自己比我更难受。
我怎么可以先倒下来。
i feel like telling someone how i feel now.
maybe not someone, not anyone.
but you.
cos you understand.
but it's just very hard to start.
i dont know how to start saying this.
maybe one day when i really cannot take it,
i'll pour everything out.
and whatever the case is,
你还是最棒的。
