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♔ Wednesday, October 11, 2006
4:53 PM |
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over the years, i've grown accustomed to your ways.
i remember during the exam period.. when everyone was mugging. i was no exception. i dunno. i just like to stay up late in the night to study and somehow my brain cells are more active at night. i'll get so distracted by my thoughts i would lose focus. i was just thinking about a lot a lot of stuff which are not even academically related. random thoughts. then i start telling myself i should stop thinking about such stuff because i'm running out of time. i need to study. i start telling myself that i should wait till exams are over then i'll have loads of time to think about whatever i want.
then i'll continue mugging.
now that exams are over, obviously i have so much more time as compared to before to start thinking. but after today, i told myself i should stop thinking. BUT the point is i have so much time now and i'm telling myself not to think -.- contradicting myself. i dunno.
kind of disappointed.
and envious.
envious that my juniors are still cadets. envious that they still have the right to be cadets while we don't. envious of the bonds they share. envious that they have a chance to enter a case as a team but we don't. maybe not too much of the last point stated but the gist is there. i dunno. i'm confused.
not jealous. there's a big difference between the two.
we cannot lose hope. we cannot lose faith. we can't. we must continue to believe.
i'm addicted to the song on shinyi's blog! it's the little things. shinyi, can you send me the lyrics?
--
how have you been? i hope you are doing fine.
now i really understood why you asked me.
and no matter how good others may be, no one cares like you care for me.
